Begin Again

sunset 2013

A year passes and I expected to have more sorted out than I do.    Pull a string, sort out the tangles, and begin again.

Instead, there’s more to untangle and separate from.    Divorce should be part of the past.   Instead, it continues to stay in the present because I cannot separate my life from his.    There is a line drawn through my life that involves sharing and scheduling our son’s time.     As evenly as possible and as normal as possible.     I question how normal is possible.     I don’t think I know what that is.     The normal I’ve achieved is a life of sharing, schedules, and routines.

I’ve lost a year to existing in a routine and hoping normal will appear in a more honest way than my previous normal.      Day to day, months passed, and things feel the same.

Beginning again.

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